This week has been intense here in Southern California. We’ve had numerous huge fires break out, with massive evacuations both in Ventura County and Los Angeles County. Smoke and ash has travelled far and wide, and the Santa Ana winds that fueled these fires seemed relentless. I have several close friends who have had to evacuate, and on Wednesday I helped my LA family prepare for evacuation as they were on the border of one of the evacuation zones.
But for the whole week I have felt nothing but calm. I have witnessed this intense destruction and forces of nature that has undoubtedly reminded all of us that we don’t really stand a chance against nature. But calm is the only thing present and for no apparent outer reason that I can think of. Earlier in my life, I would have felt guilty about feeling this way. I would have tried to force myself to feel bad and worried, so I wouldn’t appear uncaring and insensitive. What has struck me this week, is that the calmness I experience is of service - especially when times are so challenging. The calmness doesn’t mean that I approve of destruction or that I don’t care about the challenges my loved ones are faced with. I wish I could take away all hurt and pain, but I know it is not my job. This calmness means that my role this week is to be the light. To be a space of comfort and assurance that it will all work out. I can’t think of a single time in my life where I have been faced with a challenge, where I wished someone would be freaking out with me. It’s always been the soothing voice of friends and family that has helped me through. I am grateful for this calm inside - wherever it is coming from - and I’m letting it do what it needs to do, as our communities rebuild and our firefighters restore.
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March 2018
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